St Brendans 1 v 3 EM95

26th March, 2023 Coombe Dingle Sports Ground

TEAM: Sir, Teague, Jim, Neil, Bri, Ford, Yarrow, Duds, Alex, Stu, Drane SUBS: Pope

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Leadership was in short supply before kick off. In the changing room multiple former Monday managers explained at length why they simply couldn't shoulder the burden of deciding which wing Al and Ben should each play on. Charlton tried to seed the idea of putting a big man (probably Jim) up top but said it really quietly then ran away. Thankfully Colonel was waiting by the pitch and grabbed the hot potato, telling Al and Ben to pick a wing. That’s what real leadership looks like. Both of the Monday (usual) ball providers were absent so a flat football was borrowed from the opposition for the pre match kick about. Charlton strayed near the coin-tossing area and accidentally became captain for the day. Tails never fails though and he decided to kick up the slope. And what a slope it was… “More like a f*cking mountain stated Popey from the sidleines where he emerged as a late (and only) benchwarmer. The pre-game floods ensured the sprinklers were not required and the mud sliding could commence.

From the off St Bendans used the downhill gradient to its full advantage with good pressing and seemed more up for it early doors. It wasn't a pitch that really suited dandy false-nines. As Stu Charlton told reporters… “Monday only managed a couple of decent passing moves in the first half. One good one went Yarrow - Charlton – Yarrow – Charlton – Al – Charlton – Yarrow (blasts it into someone's arse)." Monday still got plenty of shots in though. And they weren't all terrible. Quite a few were blocked by defenders' arses.

At the 30 minute mark, Dane got a decent chance direct from a Bri goal kick and smashed a shot across goal and saw the opposition keeper make an excellent if unorthodox save with the stud of an outstretched boot. As Jim Phillpott observed at the post match press conference… “Stu had an effort straight at keeper, and Duds fired well wide from a good break. They defended well and got some great blocks in.”

St Brendans created less but did pose a threat, and a ball in from their right was shinned powerfully into the bottom corner from 12 yards to give them a 1-0 lead. As Brian Rance told his fans on his Instagram feed after the game… “Whilst fortunate, their goal certainly wasn’t undeserved for their pressing.” Neil signalled to the bench that he had had enough of running uphill in treacle and Popey replaced him at centre back. Monday battled to get back in the game and a free-kick on the edge of the St Brendans box gave cause for optimism until Bri stepped up to take it. As he explained… “The keeper ended up on the Downs retrieving my woefully high and wide effort but as I told the lads, it was a bit of time wasting there and we are downhill in the second half.” At half time Monday had a competition to see whose badly nut had the best ball-shaped mud splat on it. Charlton won that too. St Brendans’ manager was overheard asking Stu if the Monday would like uphill again for the second half.

Not long after the restart, Mexican all-rounder Alex Orozco, today putting in a shift on the left of midfield, pulled up with a busted hamstring and Neil had to come back on.

Nobody knew what to do so he headed out to the left wing to replace Al. Spotting the chaos and the opportunity to test his big man theory, Charlton moved himself out to left mid put Neil back in the centre of defence and Popey up top.

As Jim commented after the game… “Cometh the hour, cometh the Pope as an inspired tactical switch following Al’s injury saw the annual appearance maker take his place up front and after sustained pressure, Draner picked out the big man who shaped to cross, giving the keeper the eyes and then beating him at the near post.” Pope then hit the post with a header and they scrambled clear from a Mark Drane corner, their keeper made another worldie, somehow getting a strong hand to a cracking drilled effort from Drane. A sustained bit of pressure had St Brendans literally kicking the ball anywhere to clear their lines. It’s fair to say at this point you’d struggle to see anything other than a Monday victory and they finally edged in front when another whipped corner was neatly flicked on by Jim at the near post, with the Popes belly converting from close range. 2-1 to the Blues but St Brendans were not out of this game and came back into it.

Sir Lee in the Monday goal made one great save and Bri nearly pulled one back for St Brendans with a spectacular 50p header that whistled past Lee's post. This led to a succession of about ten corners, the first nine shanked to the near post and sliced behind again by a different Monday player. Divine intervention followed when a swift counter from Yarrow and Ford picked out Draner to run into space, his low cross deflected in for an own goal off a defender under pressure from Popey. I'm not sure if he's ever played up top but basically Popey scored two, hit the post, set Mark up with a one-on-one, and he can claim a big role in the third goal. Not bad.

The home team kept at it and a combo of Sir Lee and Jim on the line kept them out after Stu had tried to play out from deep.

As Stu recalled… “I fucked about in our six-yard box and lost it and everyone complained.” Yarrow and Duds covered a lot of porridge in centre midfield as Monday dominated the second half with St Brendans keeper claiming their MoM award by pulling off a series of important saves.

But Monday dug in deep to claim the win

As Alex observed… “Our midfield (especially Duds) put in a heavy shift all game to stop a very well organised opposition.”

After the match Ben Ford told reporters… “Despite the dificlult conditions it was a decent game played with good spirit and some excellent refereeing.” A sentiment endorsed by hop-along-Alex who commented… "Good ref and good Corinthian spirit from the opposition."

Mark Drane added… “Another enjoyable game despite the sloppy boggy pitch...and one that saw the Monday battle back to perhaps clinch and retain the league title.”

Bri summed up the game nicely by telling his millions of Tik Tok followers… “All in all a good battling win, it certainly wasn’t pretty but St Brendans certainly fought hard and caused the men in blue some issues. Full marks to both teams for a classic Sunday Morning game of football played in the right manner.”

MoM: Duds