EM95 1 v 3 Wick Real Old

October 5th 2025

Venue - Clifton College Sports Ground - Watson's

TEAM - Lee, Neil, Jim, Bri, Teague, Rob, Duds, Scoinsy, Stu, Sheri, Dan.

SUB - Yarrow

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THE DAY THE EMPIRE WOBBLED (AND FELL OVER…A BIT)

The Monday faced a proper test as newly crowned kings of the over-50s scene, when former foes Real Old turned up for their first game in the league with a squad big enough to invade a small nation. EM95, meanwhile, had a few late injuries, a couple of emergency call-ups, and one player who still thought it was Thursday.

Things actually started well. The 95ers zipped it about nicely, and as Jim observed - “Dan leapt like a salmon on steroids to head home a lovely cross for 1-0.” For a brief, shimmering moment, it felt like normal service had resumed.

Then Wick remembered they were annoyingly nippy, nimble, and had knees that could still bend properly. As Stu told Sky Sports after the game - “Wick are a proper football team and bounced it around in well-practiced combinations, as we knew they would.” A speculative strike from 20 yards screamed into the top corner, leaving Sir Lee with no chance but plenty of theatrical arm-flailing. 1-1.

The middle chunk of the game was a proper battle: tidy, competitive, and played in good spirit (if you ignore the Bri v Neil sideshow - which, to be fair, I could sell tickets for and Manny’s “creative” interpretation of the offside rule).

Wick went 2-1 up through some combination of misfortune, confusion, and probably Marcus being double-teamed by people half his age. We’re not sure whose fault it was, but we’ve decided to blame VAR.

Still, the Blues kept pushing. Half time saw Yarrow squeezing back into the famous shirt and looking every inch the returning hero. His first touch was a glorious chance to level things, only to gently side-foot it towards the corner flag. Post-match he confessed he had “no idea where the goal was”, which is bold considering it was directly in front of him and roughly the size of a garage door. (Apparently, he’d forgotten his specs earlier in the day. Edgar Davids goggles now on order.)

Jim, sensing destiny, drifted into an inside-right role to try and conjure something, but as EM95 piled bodies forward Wick broke late to make it 3-1. A bit cruel, really. The game was closer than the score suggests, and Wick’s right winger even admitted mid-game that they were “relieved” to be ahead.

All told, not a bad morning’s work. Missing two of last season’s top scorers (who bagged over two-thirds of our goals) was always going to sting, but the spirit, fight, and general refusal to grow up are still there in abundance.

Wick have apparently won every game this season 3-1, so statistically speaking, we just kept the pattern tidy.

Good to see Yarrow back (even if he was playing by sonar), and special shout-out to the Monday faithful on the touchline for their vocal support, though most of it was asking whose was going to run the line rather than Manny.

We go again against Chew, with hopes high, legs strapped, and tempers mostly cooled. Dr Rob summed the game up nicely at his post-match press conference saying - “Another day and with a full squad we should have nothing to fear. It was telling that the mood at the end of the game was overwhelmingly positive.” Up the Mondays... the dynasty bends, but it doesn’t break. MoM - Dan