Easton Monday 6 - 1 Flying Saucers

  

[11 Jun : Redland School]

The pitch was lovely. Nice soft, grassy astro that reminded Ben Adams of the Fruit & Veg counter at Stourbridge market. It was just a pity that the lines were invisible to the naked eye.

We eventually managed to hire the services of ref Peter Stefano much to Purnell's and I suspect all players' relief.

Coach Yarrow named another new Central Defensive pairing of Rance and Molter, the remaining team saw the return of Newby and Ben Adams. Lappin was once again in support albeit still on secondment to TV duties whilst munching on a packed lunch of strawberries and sugar snap peas.

The Monday's started brightly and were soon leading thanks to Newby catching their fullback in possession laying the ball off to Francis who then played Newby in down the left wing to pull it back for a fantastic finish by Ben Adams

This proved to be a high point for Adams as he continued to pepper the Saucers goal and made the net bulge on numerous occasions. Unfortunately, the net concerned belonged to the tennis court behind the goal and over two fences. All the more remarkable when you consider that his pre match preparation following a night on the beer includes a bowl of meusli, 5 pints of Ribena, bacon sarnie and half a banana.

Sheridan added a second before the Monday handed the Saucers a lifeline. Awarded a corner, Purnell yelled from the bench 'stay awake!' the defence were already asleep and they scored. Francis yelled.

The Saucers were starting to get back into the game with Rick and Vivien causing all manner of problems, their movements were catching Stillman and Rance out with alarming regularity, the end result was fortunately the same however. Shite shot or well saved Sir who was quickly earning a well deserved Man of the Match award.

The half continued like this, Mondays scored, Sheri missed, Sir saved, half time.

The second half was a little bit more like it for the Mondays defence. Both Rance and Stillman had got the measure of the Young Ones and with Felix shouting louder than even gobbie Rance could muster, the Mondays started to play some decent football.

It also may have had something to do with the inspired substitution. Purnell came on to get yelled at by Francis.

Francis stopped yelling for a moment and played in Newby again down the left and with just the keeper to beat managed his usual finish to shoot lamely against their keeper. Fortunately it rebounded to Francis who calmly slotted it home to calm the Monday nerves.

The fourth goal came from more good play down the left (how old was their right back?) Matt played a pass down to Newby who ran free and squared the ball to Sheridan who managed to hit the target.

Sir still needed to be at his very best to keep the Saucers down to the one goal only. Yarrow took over from Adams and tried to hit the spire of the Clifton Cathedral with his shooting (bl***y close actually, even Rance was impressed).

Retired fullback Stillman wished that he was really retired when he fell over on his already bruised knee. Rance asked which knee was injured and then promptly began treating the other one.

Nick Hand heard francis yelling from the comfort of his garden hammock (well it was just the other side of the pitch as he later boasted to all that the big tree was in his garden. Coming over to complain that the racket was spoiling his customary Sunday morning nap he was told to turn his zimmer round and get his kit on for the injured Stillman.

Adams found the back of the net (after a hatful of efforts didn't) for the fifth.

Goal of the game came from Newby who latched on to a tremendous first time flick from Charlton. This time Newby remembered to close his eyes and fired the ball high into the far corner. The goal equates to an impressive shots/goal ration of 1:94.

All that was left at the end of the game was to try and tally up who'd scored and bask in the glory and wonderment that had occurred on this very, very hot morning. Sheridan got two goals, how we aren't quite sure! Felix took over the "I've got the loudest mouth award"! Coach Yarrow took over the "I can shoot the highest award"!

There were some lovely allotments on the far side of the pitch.