Easton Monday 3 - 1 Barely Athletic

[04 may : tbc]

It would also prove to be the game of the season that they also appeared to be playing as if they were on holiday already.

England 'Casuals Vet' leading scorer Jones was sidelined due to injury. Fellow international Purnell was handed the ref's whistle, even though he apparently didn't know what constituted a penalty decision.

The swell of expectation from the amassed ranks of Mondays supporters was quelled upon hearing the news that the all conquering Central Midfield partnership of Rance and Francis was being broken up. The return of coach Yarrow was the reason, during his pre match interview he explained to Radio 5 live that a growing absence list had led him to this controversial decision. The real reason was to come out after the game when he actually let slip in the pub that he'd only sent emails to 12 of the Mondays players!

The new Centre Half pairing of Rance and Gung Ho Danny struggled to get to grips with the two lightening quick forwards. To combat this, Danny decided to revert to playing Centre Forward/Left Wing/Right Midfield. A move greeted with much encouragement from Left Back No-Name.

In a fast and furious exchange, the ball found its way to Right Winger Stillman, he beat the Athletics defender with ease only to be confronted by Gung Ho on one of his forays up the park. In true Steelman style, he waltzed past his team mate and delivered the perfect cross for an advancing forward. As the Mondays forwards (and Gung Ho) weren't expecting such a stylish ball, it was left to the Athletics Centre Half to rise above the assembled Mondays players and power a header past his own Keeper, 1-0 to the Mondays.

As the Mondays defence continued to struggle with the sun in their eyes, the normally dependable Rance misjudged a bounce, the ball flew over his head to the waiting Steelman, suddenly the onrushing Athletics attacker turned Steelman back into Stillman, he stumbled (he insists it was a push) and in a last ditch attempt to thwart the attack, dived and pushed the ball to safety. Referee for the day Purnell decided that under the circumstances he couldn't squeal on a mate so pointed to the side line and gave a throw-in? Fortunately for the Athletics, the solid dependable Central Midfield pairing of Rance & Francis (sorry, that was last game) suddenly gained a conscience and called the foul. Casual League at its best. Up stepped Le forward Squeal (to be revealed later) to slot the ball coolly passed Sir. 1-1, the game was on.

Defender Steelman recalls the incident '...a high clearance was missed by Rance and as I was about to belt it into touch, their striker bundled me over - assuming I'd been awarded the free kick by the hitherto excellent referee I grabbed the ball looking to get us on the attack again. Imagine my surprise when said referee changed from saying: "No penalty, no penalty", to "Yeah, go on then, have a penalty," when one of their players asked pollitely! Unbelievable! If I'd know it was THAT easy...'

Draft Striker Nick Hurley moaned a lot (no surprise there) about getting slapped in the face for pulling some old blokes shirt. Unfortunately for him the ref was still reflecting in the glory of being acclaimed the Leagues fairest yet most unqualified ref to notice.

Half time came and amid much shouting and screaming the Mondays finally came up with a game plan (score more goals than the opposition).

Athletics pushed the ball through the centre where Gung Ho lunged for the ball, unfortunately this coincided with contact with the turning Athletics forward, thwack, scream, squeal. Contact was made, the noise was, well loud to be honest, concerned looks on the players faces subsided when a) the Athletics players said "you can get up now, the Ref gave the free kick" b) Spectator Jones said "he'll be up in a minute right as rain..... mate". Yet still the noise continued, amid some fairly impressive rolling around. Until suddenly, the obvious divine intervention cured our troubled opponent and allowed him to get up and immediately take the free kick. Impressive!

As the minutes ticked by, one last foray into the Athletics half finished with wingman Purnell winning a corner. Rance advanced to the right hand corner flag and delivered, what even the modest man that he is had to admit, the perfect in swinging corner. Inch perfect, it was heading into the top corner until Sheridan, (been here before) who happened to be walking into the net, tripped, leaped, blocked said perfect corner with his forehead nodding into the net to cement a place in the I only score from 6" club. 3-1 to the Mondays, it wasn't pretty, they didn't play well, but a victory is a victory none the less.

Oh, and we lost a lot of balls.