EASTON MONDAY 5 - 0 RED STAR BEDMINSTER

[23 Apr : St Matthias]

Here's what Stilly remembers

After about twenty minutes Brian said: "We've made lots of chances but haven't hit the target at all" in the style of a worried man.

Then Sheri cut into the area from the right and tucked one away with the outside of his right foot when he should've used his left.

Monday continued to dominate playing some excellent football. A raid down the left saw a cross met superbly by Felix who volleyed it in.

Then came their dubious penalty (the ref was several fields away at the time and, by the way, how come he's never given us one?) marvellously saved by young new Superkeeper (don't worry Jeff there will always be a place for you, he's crap at match reports) Owen to preserve the lead.

At half-time I remember thinking: 'next goal's an important one' and for the first ten minutes or so we were pressed back into our own half. Then Jonesy spotted their keeper off his line and chipped him, deciding wisely against trying to cross it.

At 3-0 we were still wobbling so I took it upon myself to take the game by the scruff of the neck. Newby had stopped running by this point so I added the role of left-winger to my job as left-back, ball monitor and linesman and burst into the box scoring with a Mark Hughes style acrobatic scissors-kick into the top corner. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar. Or they didn't see it properly.

At 4-0 we relaxed soaked up some pressure and added a fifth when Stu latched onto Felix's long pass (from their corner!) to beat their keeper with ease. Lovely.

Also, Brian banged his head (again) and Owen made a string of "world class" saves to prserve the clean sheet (not rubbing it in Jeff...honest).

Then Lappin turned up to jump on the glory bandwagon and collect lots of money before driving off to book another snow boarding holiday in his suspiciously expensive car...

The delighted Monday Manager Colonel Purnell said after the final whistle

"That's the performance we've been threatening all season. Sure our early results were impressive but that was against weaker opposition. This was against a team unbeaten and top of the league who needed the win to take the title and we played them off the park.

Of course we owe our new young Superkeeper Owen (sorry Jeff) for keeping our noses in front with the penalty save and a couple of other point-blank stops including one save that had him literally in tears. But the whole team performed magnificently.

Rance was back to his commanding best at centre back both with boot and mouth aided by Mason cleaning up the loose ends. Matt No-Name set up set up attacks. Stilly scored (say no more). Jones and Newby raided down the flanks. Felix and Yarrow broke down their play and set up ours. Stu and Sheri were back on best form terrorising defenders.

Working hard for each other. Being first to the ball. Getting the tackle in. Releasing the ball early. Passing it around, into space and finishing moves with goals not just near misses.

It was a joy to watch and the boys made me proud. It looks like we may not win the title this season and though I will be retiring from management at the end of this campaign I know I will be leaving the new Man a very good team and one that can go all the way next year."