EASTON MONDAY 4 - 4 NAMELESS

[09 Apr : Imperial Ground, Knowle]

Ace Reporter Stilly Reports.

Here's what I remember:

Excellent refereeing in the first half. Tailed off a bit in the second but the first bloke let the game flow summat lovely. Despite turning up at the centre circle for the start without a coin for the toss up. Or a match ball.

Their first goal was a spawny deflection that wrong footed our terrific keeper.

Their second was a deflected pass which would've run through to our keeper but fell invitingly for their striker who lobbed it in.

Our first was the goal of the game - a 3 or 4 man move finished off by Ben Adams cracking in a shot on the run (his first for the club in his first start as he keeps reminding The Management).

Don't remember that much about the second half - they got two more spawny breakaway goals, probably both deflected (the second certainly was) over the luckless keeper. Who did go on to make a couple of decent saves with his legs; I reeled in the years by chasing back after their striker and getting a last ditch tackle in (I'm still paying for it now); Newbs got a couple and Sheridan tapped in after another great move, try as we might though, the winner wouldn't come.

The game finished nine against ten with the BRI opening a special Easton Monday ward for our injured.

Ace Reporter Newby recalls a couple of goals

3-3

Sheridan found space in the box and threatened to pull the trigger. Newbs jogged passed and convinced the Wise-Welshman that another miss by Blazer would seriously mess up his shots/miss/goal ratio, which Stu was sat at home calculating. Ever the number-cruncher, Blazer reluctantly played Newbs in, who passed it back to the goal keeper. It went through his hands, and the scores were level at 3-3. At this point, Newbs' own number crunching skills failed. Thinking the Monday's were in fact 4-3 ahead, he started flouncing about 'in the hole' wondering why the management team were so urgently prompting the Monday's to get that one goal required.

4-4

No-Nonsense, No-Name put Newbs straight. Then they took a 4-3 lead, with another breakaway. Felix said something about high heels again and played Newbs in, who this time managed to beat the goalkeeper from about 8 yards with a proper shot.

The 'ref' stopped his stop-watch on 10 minutes as Easton erm, laid siege on the Nameless goal. At dusk, several hours after Nameless had packed up and left, and hampered by the lack of floodlights, the ref reluctantly blew his whistle for the end of the game, with the scores still locked at 4-4.

Oh dear.

Making a late run into the conversation, Adams recalls it thus:

Much like all of the great strikers, a lot of it is pure instinct with me....which makes it very difficult to recall the exact details leading up to slotting one in the onion bag. Either that or I've got a crap memory. Anyway, in brief:

My goal - I was lurking on the edge of their 18 yard box when Fele picked up the ball in midfield. I took a couple of paces to the the right (or left, depending on your perspective), opening up the option of a through ball. Our years of sharing squalid student accommodation paid off - finally our great minds were thinking a-like and the Beardy Weirdy knocked it through the gap I'd just created. With the keeper advancing and Newby screaming like a banshee for a square ball, I rolled into the far corner. Not being fully aware of the etiquette for goal celebrations I opted for a clenched fist mini air pump...I'd like to go for a full on Mick Channon windmill arm next time if that's allowed.

Pete's goal - Yet again "Derren Brown" Francis read my mind and lobbed a cheeky one over the oppos defensive line just as I'd started my forward run. Struggling with the unpredictable bounce that you get on a shit pitch, I eventually got the fucker under control and headed goalwards. With the keeper advancing and Newby again screaming like a banshee for a square ball, I passed it to Blazer (because he's bigger than Newby) who calmly made a cash deposit in The Royal Bank of Goal.

The bemused Monday Manager Colonel Purnell said after the game:

"How did that happen? As dodgy stand-in keeper I only touched the ball 4 times to pick it out of our net. We had 99% possession, countless chances and scored 4 great goals. They had 4 counter attacks and somehow also scoed 4! Two of those were unfortunate own goals. The first deflecting horribly off No-Name sending me the wrong way and the other looping off Mason's sliding tackle over my head. Despite going 2 down after about 10 minutes I knew we had enough talent to come back and win.

As I expected we got it back to 2-2, but they kept nudging ahead on the counter attack. I felt confident with the introduction of Martin Platt enabling jones to raid freely down the right that goals would come. They did but just as we started to turn the screw, debutant striker Ben Adams, who surely would have added to his goal per game ratio (as he keeps reminding The Management), got badly injured and limped off, as did Jones moments later which reduced our firepower despite being camped in their half."

Unfortunatley we all new it was a game we needed to, could have, and should have won to give us a realistic chance of the Premiership title. The point, would not, depite some bizarre results and mathematical formulas that would drive Sheridan to the funny farm, would not be enough. Our title hopes ended this afternoon on the slopes of the Imperial Ground.