Easton Monday 3 - 5 AXA Vets

[18 Dec : AXA Sunlife]

I haven't got an AXA to grind - I just can't remember it. Hang on, that terrible joke has got my memory working. I remember it was played on the pitch nearest the car park. It was nearly frozen and the game nearly got called-off, unfortunately it didn't.

Owen let me wear his hat as I ran the line (I don't believe I actually played). Tom turned up on his scooter after a while and we all went for a drink afterwards.

They had one very good player who finished one very nicely and got four tap ins that bounced off Knoxy who annoyed Stu very slightly while we had our drinks by taking the piss out of Sunderland. It was the same day that Liverpool had played in the World Club Champs final in Japan. They lost as well.

Owen's folks turned up to see him play and to hear him scream abuse at me in my role as linesman for not flagging their striker offside when he clearly wasn't. I've got a memory of Felix arguing with the ref for some reason but I could be wrong. Hang on -didn't Matty score from about forty yards out? Didn't that make it 3-4 and we thought we had a chance for at least a minute?

Ace Reporter Newby recalls these critical moments

1-0 - Don't recall

2-0 - Cracking goal by their best player

2-1 - Stu cross from the right fumbled by the goalkeeper and bundled in from a yard by Newbs

2-2 - Can't remember much except pissing about with it for a bit on the goal line and eventually scooping it over the keep from 1.5 yards.

3-2 - Crap defensive header from left winger (Newby) set up AXA forward to finish with lob shot

4-2 - Can't remember

5-2 - Can't remember

5-3 - Matt No-nonsense No-name, fed up with his team mates lack of dedication showed how to finish with a 30 yard volley. He celebrated by wagging a finger at the opposition manager and was later controversially seen signing forms to complete a transfer to AXA whilst also securing a lucrative signing on fee for the even more controversial transfer as part of the same deal of 'the boy Owen'.

The Monday's manager, resting his 'duck's arse syndrome', and without trusty side-kick & coach Jones (taking time out in Cornwall on an embroidery weekend), was left with much to ponder as the winter break commenced and the transfer window beckoned. If only the treasurer hadn't spent the Monday's £17 war chest the night before on those three blonde lovelies ...

Manager Colonel Purnell said afterwards "I can't believe that result! Even their manager admitted that he felt like Dick Turpin as Axa had got away with daylight robbery. We went behind to two breakaway goals by their striker (who was infact Axa's Saturday First Team Top Scoring Golden Boot Winning International Player Of The Season Centre Forward), after we had all the early pressure. We deservedly got ourselves back into the game to make it 2-2. Then a freaky 5 minutes saw them 5-2 up. They were a good team but I felt we could have 'done em'. Despite the absence of first team choices Sheridan and Jones we put in a decent performance a deserved something from the game."