Easton Monday 2 - 4 Re-Union

[08 may : AXA Sunlife]

The 2 pm kick off left many of the anxious Easton players kicking their heals in the morning. This, as it turned out, was going to be good preparation for taking on a robust Reunion side in the afternoon. On arriving at the venue with plenty of time to spare (apart from for Steve Yarrow who turned up fashionably late) Easton were greeted by their suit wearing opponents. Having agreed to a little bit extra life insurance (again, strangely prophetic) and to have the rear of their houses double glazed, the Easton boys made their way to the changing rooms.

The Mondays were at full strength, apart from the absence of Big Dean (Deano) Mason. After conceding 2 penalties in last years final debacle, the club had come up with sufficient funds to send Deano abroad for the duration. This was to prove a bad move, much like Deano trying to dance to Bloc Party on his holidays. His strength was sorely missed and, as the ref had clearly decided on a penalty amnesty before he game, he may just have got away with it this year.

The pitch at the Axa Ground was in superb condition. As the weather was bright and breezy, the roof was left open allowing the mass ranks of supporters to top up their tans while watching top Sunday afternoon entertainment. Yes, this was going to be even better than an episode of Murder She Wrote. The Easton hoards took their places by the High Stand knowing they would have to do less work than their opponents on the Slope Just By The Pitch Where The Ball Keeps Running Down Stand. Good to see that general laziness even extends to the teams supporters.

The pre-match preparation couldnt have been better. Andy (Colonel) Purnell had brought along his ghetto blaster to blast the Rocky theme out to the ghettos. Steve (Coach) Jones was stirring and strangely emotional in his pre-match talk there was a lot of love in the room. Brian (Skipper) Rance swore and spat a lot it was just like old times and certainly augured well for the match.

Easton started the game like my last attempt at proper cooking on fire. Right from the kick off they were encamped in the Reunion half. They were so settled that if Michael Howard had been elected hed have issued an eviction notice and moved them on their way. Chris (Beany) Newby had his hat back on and was looking more like the Gallic genius we know he can be. Stu (Willo) Charlton was keen to impress his proud watching parents and was putting in more expert flicks than Trevor Sorbie on a particularly busy day at the salon. There were chances at the end of the samba football as well Newby screwed an effort across the front of goal, Pete (Blazer) Sheridan just failed to get one of his long legs on the end of another cross-shot and Skipper Rance had a powerful shot superbly saved by the Reunion keeper. He was as surprised as anyone that Rance actually got it on target predictably, however, it was to prove the last time that would happen.

After 15 minutes, an event happened that was to change the course of the game Reunion made a substitution. Without fanfare or histrionics, Mickey entered the fray in centre midfield. With Easton thinking theyd forced Reunion into an unscheduled and desperate move early in the game as a result of their dominance there was an air of whatever about the change. Only Coach Jones, who had played with Mickey in his heyday at Real Madrid, had any idea of the impact of the change.

From his arrival, it became clear why Reunion had raced away with their league in their first year. Suddenly they started passing to each other. There was space. There were chances. First, a header was put wide from six yards. Then a long shot spun wide of the same post. It was no longer one way traffic it was more like the M32 on your average Saturday afternoon.

Then came the first goal. A cross from the right was headed up in the air by the Reunion centre forward, almost as high as Skipper Rances free kick effort of a few minutes before. However, instead of becoming an ace in the adjoining tennis court (as Skippers effort did) the ball landed on the head of the second Reunion striker. Being 15 yards out, he still had a lot to do. Unfortunately for Easton, he did it by looping a superb header into the far corner of the net.

Easton Monday 0 - 1 Reunion

This was a bit of a bolt out of the Easton blue. Suddenly, the defence that had looked as if it could keep Blair out of No.10 looked as leaky as a sieve being used as a replacement for the Thames flood barrier. However, they were still a threat up front. Winning a free kick 30 yards out (and Rance appearing close by) most spectators rushed to the courts to see if they could volley a back-handed reply into the tramlines. However, Steve (Ill Get There As Soon as I Can) Yarrow stepped forward while Rance was polishing the wedge he calls his boot. Yarrow lifted the ball over the wall, off the post and into the net.

Easton Monday 1 - 1 Reunion

This goal lifted the Mondays for the rest of the half and before the ref blew for half time he could have blown for a penalty. Newby thought he saw his Glastonbury ticket floating away behind the goal and suddenly picked up more speed than he could at, um, Glastonbury. It looked as if the super-charged Newbs had made up an amazing distance to get to a floating through ball when he quickly became a Reunion sandwich. He went down, and stayed down, but maybe due to his reputation the ref failed to point for a spot kick. Or maybe it was because the ref wasnt watching as he chased and caught the Glastonbury ticket which he is currently selling on E-bay.

Half time:
Easton Monday 1 - 1 Reunion

The half time team-talk brought forward the traditional Rancey Rant which, in its way, is always inspirational. And perspirational. However, half time also bought forward the start of the disturbing injury news that was to dog the Mondays in the second half. Newby had apparently picked up a thigh strain putting on his beany before fully warming up (yes I know, he has a strange way of putting a hat on) and even Mad Matt had taken a knock while being distracted trying to work out his age.

The second half started as the first finished, with both teams attacking but neither having any clear cut chances. However, Coach Jones pulled something for the first time in a few years and had to exit the fray to bark orders from the touchline. Colonel Purnell replaced him, running up fake Philadelphia steps in his mind and shouting Adrianne in a strangled voice.

Ten minutes into the second half and along with it the time the Sky amazing alliteration army came to call the Momentous Minute of the Cup Countdown on Super Sabbath (incidentally subscribe now and get all Harry Mottram Cup games next season at a reduced cost of just 39.99). Breaking free from the half way line, another Reunion substitute found himself one on one with the Easton keeper. Phased by the blinding yellowness of the keepers top, the striker shot from around the edge of the area. Gravestock leapt like a penguin and pushed the ball away with an outstretched right fin. The goalie was still revelling in the comment of the old fella standing behind the goal (He should have held that. They dont make goalies like they did in my day) while the Reunion player was getting on with the game. Retrieving the ball on the edge of the area, the striker whipped a cross into the 6 yard box. By this point, he had received some support from his team-mates and one was bursting into the area unmarked. With the ball arriving at some pace, it was going to be a tricky one to control though. Now, I wouldnt like it said that there was an element of hand-ball in what happened next, but Michael Jordan would have proud as the striker stopped the ball with his right hand and in one movement spun it on one finger, flicked it round his back and slam dunked the thing into the basket.

All Easton players looked to the ref to help them out, but he was having fun in the dance tent and telling everyone he loved them. Instead, Gravestock chose to let out his repressed anger on the linesman, calling him a cheat, amongst other things. It was only when Newbs pointed out to the thick keeper that the linesman was actually one provided by Easton themselves did he shut up. The old geezer behind the goal didnt shut up though He should have been more verbal. They dont swear like they did in my day.

Easton Monday 1 - 2 Reunion

This blow hit Easton harder than Khan hit Kindelan. For a couple of minutes they were all over the shop like the winner of a Supermarket Sweep. A long throw was nodded on at the front post for the Reunion front man to force it in, sensationally choosing not to use his hand this time.

Easton Monday 1 - 3 Reunion

Suddenly the double dream was looking as distant for Easton as Manchester Utds title challenge. Players were getting injured more frequently than Darren Anderton during a particularly injury prone season. Newby had gone off, joining the ref waiting by the porta-loo. Rance got cramp, of the jaw surely. Sheridan decided a shot with his face stood more chance of going in. Yet, from this despair came hope. Charlton created space for himself on the edge of the area before firing low into the bottom corner.

Easton Monday 2 - 3 Reunion

With more dodgy subs on the pitch than the navy managed to flog to the Canadians, Easton struggled to make much impression to get the crucial goal. There were a couple of penalty shouts, one at either end, but the ref was only interested in standing in the middle of the field with his lighter held high singing Angels at the top of his voice.

With five minutes left the game was settled. The Reunion speedster lopped past a hobbling No-Name and approached Gravestock for the second time in the half. The keeper spread his legs wider than the model off the credits of the Bond films and looked surprised when the ball was placed between them and into the net.

Easton Monday 2 - 4 Reunion

Job done, and the rest of the game was played out in the agreed knowledge that it was all over, regardless of the fact there were no people on the pitch. Overall, a well fought battle won by the team who showed a bit more steel on the day and appeared to want the win that little bit more.

Full time:
Easton Monday 2 - 4 Reunion

So, off to their summer break went the Easton boys. When the team reassemble for pre-season training in July, the squad may have a different look. Jez (Ronaldinho) Norton has secured his free transfer move to Barcelona and we all look forward to seeing him in next years Champions League final. Nick (Cool) Hands mentioned the dreaded retirement word and we all look forward to seeing him in next years World Bowls Championship. Whos to say what will happen to the rest of the motley crew the feeling of depression at the end of this game probably led a few more old timers into considering the Bowls route.

But this one game shouldnt mar what a great season its been overall for the Mondays winning all their league games scoring 40 goals in the process and conceding just 6. And getting to the Cup Final. And starting their own web-site. And providing something for the elderly population of North Bristol to do on a Sunday morning. Its a true care in the community success story.