Easton Monday 3 - 2 Nailsea Nomads

[19 Sep : The Dingle]

Having being recommended to move from Pitch Number 1 (known locally as the Broken Glass in the Goal-Mouth Pitch), Pitch Number 2 (known locally as the Yes Of Course Theres Room to Get Another Pitch in There Pitch) was chosen. This led to upset in the crowd, as both of them had to vacate their positions and move a good 30 yards or so.

The game kicked off with Easton battling up a steep slope. Luckily, plucky lone striker Stu Charlton has experience of climbing and made good use of rope and crampons to ensure he did not get anywhere near Eastons half and help out with that nasty defensive stuff.

The first chance fell Nailseas way when a throw-in dropped invitingly to an attackers head on the six yard line. Luckily, keeper Gravestock tripped over his laces and the ball hit his hand before going safely for a corner.

Easton, apparently trying out a controversial diamond formation, were now coming more into the game. The back four of Jez Norton, Pete Stillman, Nick Hands and Matt No-Surname were strong in defence, and Dean Mason and Chris Newby were doing some good work in the middle of midfield. It wasnt anything to do with the game, I think they doing some weeding, but it was good work all the same.

Roughly half an hour into the contest, Easton struck. Some cultured football was a possibility, but in the end it was ignored as basically Easton waited for the Nailsea centre- back to get the ball stuck under his feet. Sherpa Charlton raced free, setting up base camp on a small ledge, before sending the keeper the wrong way down the mountain and planting his flag firmly in the bottom left hand corner.

1 - 0 to Easton Monday

That was about it for the first half, the only other incident of note being a shot from the edge of the area by a Nailsea forward. Luckily for Easton, keeper Gravestock had his right hand in the air, trying to shield his delicate eyes from the sun, and the ball hit it and went over.

The second half saw the introduction of Steve The Coach Jones. He made an immediate impact at right midfield, cleverly hitting the ball out for throw-ins on a couple of occasions. Acute tactical thinking no doubt.

Easton were now dominating the game, encamped on the Stoke Lodge foot-hills. Shots were raining in, some of them rumoured to be aimed at the Nailsea goal. Then Jones, clearly aiming to screw the ball across the field to go out for another time wasting throw-in, badly mis-cued and the ball ended up in the Nailsea net.

2 - 0 to Easton Monday

The domination was now almost embarrassing it certainly embarrassed Newby who rounded the keeper, then felt sorry for him and put the ball into the side netting. Easton were intelligently used Howarths blistering pace up front to slow the game down while Hands and No-Surname hung around at the back playing Paper/Scissors/Stone to wile away the time.

It was only a matter of time before Easton notched a third and, after a genuinely good pass from Stillman, the ball fell kindly to Newby just as he was taking his latest batch of cuttings to the side line. It goes without saying he scuffed his shot, but the bulky Nailsea keeper collapsed to the ground and, in an homage to David James, let the ball under his arms and into the net.

3 - 0 to Easton Monday

At this point, half the crowd left clearly intending to avoid the post-match rush. This event had a disturbing effect on the atmosphere as it left the Wall End Stand devoid of the noise of the old fella breathing. It was almost as if Easton metaphorically got up and left to avoid the rush at the same time because, sensationally, Nailsea started to get back into the game.

First, they scrambled a goal from a needlessly conceded corner. Then they struck a second when the Easton defence went missing, the Easton goalie went walking, and the Nailsea striker went scoring.

3 - 2 to Easton with a good 10 minutes left!

Panic spread through the team. Purnell, finding himself in an unfamiliar left sided role, led from the front by running round aimlessly. To show their devotion to him, the rest of the Easton team did the same. To be honest, it looked like a Nailsea would secure an unlikely draw.

Easton were in desperate need of motivation and focus. They got it from an unlikely source. Paul Lappin was by now standing on the touch-line nursing a knock to his boyish good looks. He knew he was still vital to the cause though and let out the inspirational words all of Easton wanted to hear:

Dont forget, were still 3-2 up!

These words vie with any great Churchillian speech of the past, and the realisation that, yes, we were truly still 3-2 up was enough. Nailsea gave up in the face of this great common-sense statement, and Easton eased through the last couple of minutes confident in the knowledge that, as we scored 3 and theyd scored 2, we would win.

The ref knew the game was up, which was why he blew his whistle. Rejoicing took hold on the mountain and, if it hadnt been for the thought of the 15 minute walk back to the changing rooms, Im sure some hugging and carrying on shoulders would have been in order.

First game, first win. Hands was given the man of the match award, clearly deserved as he thrashed No-Surname at Paper/Scissors/Stone.

Next up for Easton a Martial Arts battle at the Sun Life ground on October 3rd. Be there, or be somewhere warmer and more comfortable.